ga ada isinya

kosong

beberapa minggu terakhir ini (kira2 2 minggu), saya baru aja dengerin lagu yg judulnya ’sen no yoru wo koete’ (Passing Through a Thousand Nights) dari ending theme song-nya Bleach movie yg pertama..enakeun sih, mellow banget..cuma pas sy nyari arti lagu itu di internet, ternyata artinya watir pisan, ga cocok sama kondisi sy waktu itu yg lagi seneng2nya..jadi yaa cuma dengerin buat iseng2 aja, ga dimasukin ke hati..hahahaha

cuma tadi, abis solat isya sy langsung nyalain komputer dan pengen denger lagu itu..situasinya pas banget sm sy sekarang..nyanyiin lagi ah..artinya aja tapi..

I want you to love me, but I don’t think you will
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It’s the only answer I have; that even if I’m scared or getting hurt
I can say “I love you” to the one I love

Do you love me or not?
I don’t care what the reason is, I just need to know
no matter how badly I desire to be with you
There are many unchangeable things in this world,
and my love for you
can’t be stopped by anyone

as a thousand nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
I want you to love me, but I don’t think you will
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It’s the only answer I have; that even if I’m scared or getting hurt
I can say “I love you” to the one I love
putting these feelings into words are so scary,
But I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

The happiness we chance upon in our lives can’t be expressed in words
that’s why we can only smile
and why we sing do-re-mi among the vivid autumn colors
with winter in our back, and the spring sunbeam peeking through the leaves
as to protect someone who’s just been reborn

as I looked at the road I’d traveled and the path ahead, my eyes were filled by cowardice
I want to look into your eyes, but was afraid I wouldn’t be honest
I didn’t want to know that you didn’t love me
and live the rest of my days all alone
that day, I kept on loving you without getting hurt

as a thousand nights pass, I long to tell you
I have to let you know
I want you to love me, but I don’t think you will
I wander around as I repeat this to myself
It’s the only answer I have; that even if I’m scared or getting hurt
I can say “I love you” to the one I love
Even if my feelings aren’t returned, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s the most wonderful thing in this world

it happens again
for the third time
when technologies don’t get along with me
when I must stand alone in this night
without the partner

after the sun comes to shine on me again
what should I do?
there will be some dissapeared habits
the moments i used to laugh
forgetting the world from its cruelty

temporary goodbye she said?
eventhough the word ‘temporary’ means ‘there’ll be an end’
I can’t bear with it
the pressure on my feet forces me to run from reality
to end this temporary goodbye much quicker
and obtain a permanent happiness

if the twilight comes
with who should I see a beautiful orange sky?
how should I see the rainbow after the squall?
when will I see thousands radiants of light again?
I can’t bear with it
if she’s away

but when we’re mingled
there’s no time to mangle
let’s walk and don’t stop
until we reach the top
so we’ll dance like a spinning top

please listen to my heart
hear it from the very start
although our connection becomes so hard
soon we’ll find a peace
that we collected from every piece
and finally I’ll present you a sweet kiss

my heart is overflowing recently. I can say that I’m now in a good mood, but I keep myself in a silence, hold my happiness, as if there were no special thing occurs. what am I hiding? why must I hide this feeling? there are a lot of good things happened before I wrote this post (and after my ‘eyes on me’ post). and, what makes me has just written it now is that: “I don’t know how to express it”.
I’m not good in expressing or telling my story to anyone, so it will take a very long time for me to finish this post. and maybe I’m not going to tell you a whole story. in fact, I don’t know whether I’ll tell the story or babbling and murmuring about my feeling.
The last rainy night had been wonderful to me. I put my phone to my ear for very long time, smiling and laughing with someone in the other line. talking about our happiness in the previous days, when we had had our best moment that I can’t ever forget. oh My God, I just can’t say anything right now!!! where is the time when I made a very long poetic verses for her? who is she? how can she make me fall into the gorge of wordless world? this is the very first time i’m silenced by something. I mean, I am a silence person, but at least I can show my mood by writing. and now, this day, this hour, this second, I can’t even find any word to write my feeling.
my brain’s stuck, the only thing that fulfilled my brain is ALL about her. I forget how life works, what I did yesterdays, and how much assignments i have to do. c’est complique de penser une personne que j’adore, mais il m’amuse. That’s why I don’t ignore this feeling, I let myself fall into this gorge because I believe I’ll acquire something in the bottom. The true happiness of ours.
Let me stop writing for a while, as I enjoy this silence. and I promise to all of you, as soon as I get back, there will be TONS of adorable things I’m going to share. All about me and my flower, the conclusion of our story. I hope it will be the sweetest ending.

hari ini jum’at, 17 April 2009

lagi di warnet di jalan lodaya..

yaa,,judul blog diatas emang dari judul lagu..knp saya naro judul itu?
tadi jam 2 pagi saya nyanyi2 lagu itu di kamar,abis nelpon seseorang dari jam setengah 1an..gatau knp, saya tiba2 inget lagu itu, lagu yg udah diciptain sekitar 11 taun yg lalu. tapi kyknya baru td pagi saya dapet feel yg ngena bgt dari lagu itu..apa gara2 abis nelpon seseorang yg telponnnya tiba2 mati gara2 abis batre? besar kemungkinan..
dan, dengan suksesnya dia dan lagu itu bikin bantal saya basah sama air mata..ngebuat saya pengen nyanyiin lagu itu lagi dan lagi, ga peduli bakal nambah berapa tetes air mata lagi..
and now, let me sing that song once more

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You’d always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darlin’, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you’re never hurt
As if you’re never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanna be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I love your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darlin’, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
The tears if you’re holding back
Or pain if that’s what it is
How can I let you know
I’m more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out and then
You will know that you are not dreaming

Darlin’, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you’re never hurt
As if you’re never down
Shall I be the one for you?
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

cih,malu2in banget ada orang nangis di warnet….

again, I averted my eyes from the truth
again, I did an unimportant mistake
please, I don’t want to disturb you with my childish habit anymore
please, just wake me up when this April ends

“will I wait a lonely life time
if you want me to, I will…”

jika ada seorang perempuan yang menyita perhatianku

jika ada seorang perempuan yang aku hargai lebih

ketahuilah bahwa aku tak akan menganggapnya sebagai belahan jiwa

Dia terlalu indah untuk ku katakan sebagai belahan jiwa

karena dia tidak sebelah, dia satu

satu jiwa yang mengendap di otak dan hatiku

satu jiwa yang lebih kuperhatikan daripada diriku sendiri

“kono ude no naka de mezame yuku
kimi no kanashimi ga tada kanashikute
kuruoshii made ni koishitau
itsu made mo soba ni ite hanarerarenu youni“

banyak yg bilang ini blog udah lama ga di update..

pas sy liat2 ternyata bener udah sebulan pas ini blog nganggur..hahaha..

ada alesannya juga sih sy jadi jarang ngurus blog, lagi ada proyek uy..proyek jangka panjang..doain aja proyeknya cepet rampung ya, supaya bisa ngeblog lagi..hehe..

thx

kudaceking

to the one whom i care
it’s okay
don’t you feel that you have done something awful
let it be
I’ll try to be a valiant guy
like I said to you back then
I’ll protect you from everything
and I did a little proof to you this dawn

to the one who always makes me happy
I didn’t care about the ‘fart’ things that happened to us
it’s okay I lost something important that was in my pocket
but I’d rather to lose it than to lose you
you’re the precious thing that money can’t buy
you’re so priceless

to the one whom I miss
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my eyes off you
if you want the truth,
I was thinking about you
and about the loneliness we are going to pass through
a cup of midnight bottle
knew that I was not sleepy
I was sad, and held my tears
I just couldn’t cry in front of you

to the one who is really mean to me
I realized how much I need you as I walked to my house
walking farther, leaving your vehicle behind
below the starless dawn, at last i cried
above the wet street, my tears rolled down
stood alone in the midst of darkness
without you

to the one who is far away
I was on my bed
held a coquettish doll beside me
held it firmly
smelled its scent
remembering our good times
when we smelled that scent together
when we exchanged body heat in our hideout

to the one with a lovely smile
maybe I won’t see those smiles for months
I don’t know what will happen to us when we’ll meet again
but i’ll keep my vow
that I won’t do something bad to you
put your trust in me
as I put that onto you

to the one who is another part of my soul
in the time when you miss me
please know that i miss you too
only to you

A kid woke up in the daybreak
Lost in thought about something that worsen his days
His nose smelled the fragrance of the doll
who sat stupidly beside his pillow
he rubbed it over and over again
until he remembered an unforgettable memory of 20 days ago
and many many days before

The calendar that is hung on his wall
still displaying the same page
although he feels it like years

he feels useless
just lying on his bed and close his eyes
ignoring the world around him

doesn’t care how many houses have been burnt
doesn’t care how many people have been angry
he’s just lying on his bed and close his eyes
while still holding the doll beside him

the cold and cruel breeze comes through his window
it touches his entire skin
but he doesn’t remember the time when he was sick
instead he remembers the cold night of 20 days ago
and many many days before

A lot of things he wants to talk
a lot of problems he wants to share
a lot of stories he wants to laugh

but in the end
only one one feeling he wants to tell
only to one soul
on the promised day

20 days ago
he was so happy
20 days ago
someone made him didn’t want to go home