My Precious

to the one whom i care
it’s okay
don’t you feel that you have done something awful
let it be
I’ll try to be a valiant guy
like I said to you back then
I’ll protect you from everything
and I did a little proof to you this dawn

to the one who always makes me happy
I didn’t care about the ‘fart’ things that happened to us
it’s okay I lost something important that was in my pocket
but I’d rather to lose it than to lose you
you’re the precious thing that money can’t buy
you’re so priceless

to the one whom I miss
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my eyes off you
if you want the truth,
I was thinking about you
and about the loneliness we are going to pass through
a cup of midnight bottle
knew that I was not sleepy
I was sad, and held my tears
I just couldn’t cry in front of you

to the one who is really mean to me
I realized how much I need you as I walked to my house
walking farther, leaving your vehicle behind
below the starless dawn, at last i cried
above the wet street, my tears rolled down
stood alone in the midst of darkness
without you

to the one who is far away
I was on my bed
held a coquettish doll beside me
held it firmly
smelled its scent
remembering our good times
when we smelled that scent together
when we exchanged body heat in our hideout

to the one with a lovely smile
maybe I won’t see those smiles for months
I don’t know what will happen to us when we’ll meet again
but i’ll keep my vow
that I won’t do something bad to you
put your trust in me
as I put that onto you

to the one who is another part of my soul
in the time when you miss me
please know that i miss you too
only to you

20

A kid woke up in the daybreak
Lost in thought about something that worsen his days
His nose smelled the fragrance of the doll
who sat stupidly beside his pillow
he rubbed it over and over again
until he remembered an unforgettable memory of 20 days ago
and many many days before

The calendar that is hung on his wall
still displaying the same page
although he feels it like years

he feels useless
just lying on his bed and close his eyes
ignoring the world around him

doesn’t care how many houses have been burnt
doesn’t care how many people have been angry
he’s just lying on his bed and close his eyes
while still holding the doll beside him

the cold and cruel breeze comes through his window
it touches his entire skin
but he doesn’t remember the time when he was sick
instead he remembers the cold night of 20 days ago
and many many days before

A lot of things he wants to talk
a lot of problems he wants to share
a lot of stories he wants to laugh

but in the end
only one one feeling he wants to tell
only to one soul
on the promised day

20 days ago
he was so happy
20 days ago
someone made him didn’t want to go home

The Confession

I just can't seem to concentrate...
with these black and white eye...
I was just...
There is nothing I can do for you
Back then I was really moved by something
really content with something
Did I really understand myself?

Please don't go anywhere
Please don't go anywhere

Even though I can't keep walking with my eyes closed
Alone, I close my eyes
Even though I know I can't keep going if I avert my eyes
Alone, I avert my eyes

Before I could realize it I had hurt you
Running from unexpected words
Refusing to rely on someone's kindness
I hurt you completely
What am I supposed to seek from now on?

Please don't go anymore
Please don't go anymore

"Ikanaide soba ni ite hoshii
furueta koe ga kono karada ni hibiite
iki ga dekinaku naru
Sono namida ni owari wa naino ?

Setsunakute dakiyosetaku naru
Kono omoi wa nani ?
Mou komawasenai kara
kono heya ni oite ikanaide
Hitori ni shinaide"

The First Time

I talked to you for the first time, you smiled at me
I was able to talk to you for the first time, with those words

Would you get annoyed if someone like me started talking to you?
That was the anxiety I carried around with me, but I tried to get up some courage
I’m not good at talking, and my words were clumsy
But you gave me your full attention and listened to me

Words give me trouble all the time
But it’s also always words that save me
I don’t care if someone laughs at me
I have the fact that I was able to talk to you

I was in a great mood, just because of that
But you didn’t think of me in any way

But no matter what
I talked to you for the first time, you smiled at me
I was able to talk to you for the first time, with those words

Le Poème pour Ma Fleur

everything will be fine, right?
In situations where you got bad penalties
there’s always the reality of covering them up and faking them
In the era of distorted dilemmas
Even we, who have made a promise together
pass by each other without noticing

Ah, I’ll find your eyes and the warmth of your hands
Time and time again

Love hurt me once, and so you whispered
You were scared of believing and cried, didn’t you?
Learn your weaknesses and become strong, by believing without fear
You’ll learn of true love
before it turns into hatred, right?

Memories that heal the heart, they exist
But it’s a memory that will steal my heart, right?

What I want
Isn’t this heartless and contrived world
On the unviewable days without fragments of reason
Lowliness dwells in my eyes that are tired of seeing the others

A love was found in this city
If we search for its meaning
we’ll become a little better and be able to move on, right?

Driving Devi

Assalamu’alaikum wr. wb

hari ini tanggal 2 Februari 2009

In this post, I wanna talk about Devi, yeah let’s talk about her.

waduh, pacar kamu ya?

bukan, dia bukan pacar saya. tapi sayang sama dia, sering bgt jalan bareng sama dia, saya kewalahan bgt klo dia ga ada.yaah, begitulah testimonial saya terhadap motor kesayangan saya itu.
motor?

iya, motor.

knapa motor harus dikasih nama?

yaah, kan banyak juga orang2 yg ngasih nama ke alat kendaraan mereka kayak Giro (motornya Alvin), Bangkong (Mobilnya Alvin), Matthew (Motornya Lita), Vesto (Mobilnya Nida) dan masih banyak lagi. mungkin juga nama2 itu sebagai bentuk kasih sayang mereka kepada kendaraan yang mereka kendarai itu. ga tau klo knapa mereka ngasih nama seperti itu, tapi alasan saya adalah supaya gampang diingat orang2, jadi orang2 ga ada yg nyebut ‘motor maneh’ ato ’si eta’. geuleuh kan klo benda yang qta sayang mendapat perlakuan tak senonoh yang kaya gtu?? heuheu

terus kenapa dikasih nama Devi?

supaya cewe-cewe yg ngeceng saya cemburu. jadi klo ditanya ‘pergi sama siapa?’ jawab aja ‘berdua sama Devi’, dijamin mereka langsung pundung, cemas, khawatir, takut, parno, gelisah, makan tak enak, tidur tak nyenyak, ato nyoba bunuh diri. hehehe. tapi bukan karena itu aja sih (yg tadi mah selingan). saya ngasih nama Devi dari 2 huruf di belakang  plat nomor saya yang D _ _ _ _ DV. supaya gampang inget aja dan ga akan ketuker jadi Anna, Martha, Julia, Rita, Yoko, Jude, Prudence dan lain2 (yang bisa nebak itu nama siapa dan darimana JAGO!)

mulai dari kapan suka sama Devi?

ayah saya sih beli c Devi dari bulan Maret 2005. jaman saya kelas 3 SMP (yup, kesempatan bagus untuk bisa nebak umur saya). tapi berhubung belum punya SIM, saya cuma ngajak jalan dia di sekitar komplek. dan, begitu saya menarik gas, raungannya yang halus dan damai itu mulai menggelitik hatiku. kita mulai berjalan, getaran tubuhnya menggetarkan jiwaku. kupacu dia sedikit, kulenggok-lenggokan tubuhnya di setiap belokan, di saat itulah, saya jatuh dari motor eh jatuh cinta padanya maksudnya (walopun hubungan percintaan antara kuda dan sebuah sepeda motor itu terlarang memang). waktu kelas 2 SMA, saya dapet SIM dan akhirnya bisa membawa sang pujaan hati ke sekolah! horeeee! hatiku berteriak bangga, tidak bisa membayangkan hubungan kisah kita berdua di sepanjang jalan Dago selama 2 tahun bakal bagaimana jadinya. dan memang, banyak pengalaman menarik dan membanggakan bersamanya. sampai sekarang.

pengalaman menarik apa aja gtu?

banyak. mulai dari konvoi bareng temen2 klo mau pada pergi2, pergi berdua sama dia keliling Bandung, kebut2an bareng dia pas telat sekolah, nyulik dia cepet2 pas mau mabal sekolah, nganterin orang2 yang nebeng ke tempat tujuannya (dan pulangnya nyasar), pulang malem2 sampai dikejar banci, ujan2an bareng dia sampe qta berdua sakit, nyanyi2 bareng dia pas lagi ngebut di jalan (saya lead vokal, dia backing vokal pake suara mesinnya yang aduhai merdunya itu), sampai jatoh dari dia ber kali2 yang membuat kita berdua terluka, teraniaya, dan tersakiti. pokoknya, hubungan saya sama Devi klo kata siti nurhaliza mah ‘panas terik, hujan badai, kita lalui bersama’.

hah? pernah jatoh? kenapa?

hahaha, pernah lah. banyak orang yang bilang klo qta belum pernah jatoh dari motor berarti belom afdol. dan saya udah jatoh 3 kali (kurang afdol apa coba? hehehe). Jadi gini, kecelakaan pertama terjadi di jalan Sunda. hari rabu pagi tuh inget banget soalnya lagi pake baju olahraga, kelas 2 SMA. jadi pas mau masuk jalan sunda dari arah gatsu, ada motor yg ngebut gtu dan dengan seenaknya nyenggol Devi sampe kita jatoh. yang nyenggol sih langsung lari. ga ada luka serius sih, cuma luka2 kecil di kaki. tapi lumayan juga sih buat alesan ga ikut olahraga di sekolah (rajin ya saya abis kecelakaan masih ngotot ke sekolah?). kecelakaan kedua terjadi pas kelas 2 akhir menjelang liburan. saya jatoh gara2 kepeleset di jalan yg licin bekas ujan. bego juga sih saya ngebut2 di jalan licin. hahahha. walhasil helm saya rusak, jaket robek2, dan segitiga si Devi bengkok, jadi ga bisa jalan lurus gtu. saya luka di telapak tangan kanan, jari2 tangan kiri, sikut kiri, lutut kiri, kaki kanan, sampe dagu juga kena. parah lah. disana saya nelpon c jae buat nganter saya pulang. untung we dia dateng, biasanya susah disuruh. thx friend. kecelakaan ketiga terjadi di Cileunyi, pulang tes toefl di kampus. tanggal 26 Agustus 2008. kali ini ga tanggung2. qta (featuring Restu Nurul Aeni a.k.a Ibon) diserempet TRUK SEMEN! hahahhaha. c Devi jatoh trus keserempet gtu di kolong angkot. saya juga jatoh cukup jauh. tapi ajaibnya, c Devi sama sekali ga baret2, saya juga CUMA luka kecil di telapak tangan. beruntung banget mengingat kita jatohnya diserempet truk yg gede banget. abis kecelakaan qta melanjutkan perjalanan ke edu,sekalian berobat. trus pas di edu itu,,,,ah ga jadi ah. hehehe..

kenapa gtu pas di edu?

ah ga kenapa2. udah ah jangan nanya tentang itu. malu. hehehe. lagian ga ada hubungannya juga sama Devi. sok mau nanya apa lagi?

haha, ok2. hmmm, udah berapa kilometer jalan sama Devi?

wah, panjang bgt. jadi pas mulai kelas 2 SMA itu, saya inget kilometer di motornya masih 7800. sekarang udah 22000 lebih. tentu saja selama perjalanan 14200 km lebih itu diisi oleh kenangan2 maanis yg udah saya sebutin tadi. pokoknya kurang 1 meter aja, kehidupan saya ga akan berubah kaya gini. serius.

oh gtuu. ada pesen terakhir ga buat Devi sebelum postingan ini ditutup?

ada dong pasti. saya punya lagu untuk dia. saya pertama kali nyanyiin ini pas lagi jalan bareng dia, pas lagi ngelewatin simpang Dago. lagu ‘two of us’ dari The Beatles. Dan kali ini, saya bakal nyanyiin lagi buat my lovely Devi:

“Two of us riding nowhere
Spending someone’s hard-earned pay
you and me Sunday driving
not arriving on our way back home

we’re on our way home
we’re on our way home
we’re going home

two of us sending postcards
writing letters on my wall
you and me burning matches
lifting latches on our way back home

two of us wearing raincoat
standing so long in the sun
you and me chasing paper
getting nowhere on our way back home

you and I have memories
longer than the road that stretches out ahead

we’re on our way home
we’re on our way home
we’re going home“

ada yang mau nanya lagi ga?